Recently I’ve found myself with some time to think about the differences of being a stay-at-home-mom to the differences of working outside the home. Although I’ve only had a short stint of both, one thing that’s stood out the most is that my pace of life has significantly SLLLLLOOOOOWWWWEEEEEDDDD down.
It’s funny because lots of people ask if I’m bored or if I get bored…I’d be lying if there weren’t moments some days when I wasn’t scrambling for something to do while my little guy naps in a fervent effort to avoid the dreaded 4 letter word (B O R E D). Guilt comes over me as any inkling of boredom rears is ugly head as I think about my husband who works so faithfully day in and day out to support our little threesome.
While honestly thinking about stay-at-home-momdom and boredom I realize one very important thing for myself. Life is SLOWER now! I’m sure this changes as life takes more shape and a family grows in age and number but it’s like being pushed into an ice-cold pool when you’re expecting a balmy 87 degree dip! The biggest relief in this for me was actually coming to the understanding that it’s going to take some work getting used to a slower pace of life.
In the working world it was a constant go, go, go. Meetings, clients, phone calls, crisis; high demand and never a dull moment…funny how during those times I would’ve PAID for a moment of silence. The two worlds are drastically different when we look at pace but the demand is just as great. No longer am I running around trying to extinguish fires here and there; now I’m chasing after the right method on sleep effectiveness, making healthy homemade baby food, teaching my little guy and providing a stimulating environment for a happy baby.
I feel so fortunate to have figured this out so early on; realizing that time slows down is a hard pill to swallow for me at times. I’m sure that view will evolve over time like I’ve said before, but it’s such an interesting challenge for me. It certainly opens the door to a lot of fear to creep in; self-doubt… “will I be good enough?” …”Am I cut out for this?” “DO NOT GIVE IN TO BOREDOM YOU WILL GET DEPRESSED!!!”
I’ve had to move away from the word and description of boredom and focus more on my discovery of how time in my world has changed and how my daily priorities and tasks are seasoned much differently than they used to be. Time management in my former work life was the key to success so it’s a skill I’ve well-developed over the years. Using it in new and different ways only gives me the opportunity to refine skills I wasn’t thinking I’d continue developing. Silly to think, but so true! I think I looked at staying home as taking care of and being with my sweet baby man but didn’t really think much about how my professional skills would come into play.
Things truly continue to stay interesting. I’m looking forward to continuing to discover new things as well as old ones! Maybe the sewing projects I’ve been dreaming about will actually get some attention and maybe I’ll actually have time to get more creative with my love of photography! Thinking about spending time with my son and incorporating my hobbies does stir up that not so distant mommy guilt…”Is it right to be able to be able to stay home with my sweet little love and have time for my hobbies while my husband is hard at work every day?” ….that’s obviously a whole other post!
What are some of the things you do during your family’s quiet time?
The Momflict 
During our quiet time?…i spend it making sure my kids are quiet. Lol
Well….it only gets more exciting : ) however, even with 4 kids, I find moments of “blah” time. Not always because I don’t have something to do, just due to lack of motivation. I think having a “mom-community” is important (most other cultured do). Not so we can get together and gossip and complain about this and the other, but to encourage and live and support each other.
Doing a project? Call up another mom and work on it together? Spending your day baking or cleaning. Have a friend come share the time…etc. I think we’re missing this.
Part of the “fast paced” society we live in is due to the materialism craze in our country. Women are also tricked into believing that we must always be accomplishing something to feel good about ourselves. (So what does that make motherhood? A walk in the park? A waste of time? Not important enough to make sacrifices?) Raising your child is the most significant thing you will ever do! Do it WELL! Obviously, I am a strong supporter of stay at home moms. Don’t believe lies. Just because your child is asleep, doesn’t mean that you are not doing anything. There is nothing in this world more important than raising your children. If you think about it, you and your husband will someday be gone, and your children will be left. Our Global population changes hands less than every one hundred years. Isn’t the next generation worth the sacrifice? Don’t you want to instill in your child the strengths that will enable him to maneuver his world when you are gone? NOW is the time to do that. My mothers best advise was, “Save your best for your family.” So when the baby is sleeping, use that time for yourself, like a nap, or a soak in the tub, or for prayer time (nap time was my daily bible reading and prayer time.) During your baby’s first year, he is learning to trust. And, you are showing him that he is more important than a job you could have. Children do not consciously put that into concrete thought, but they learn it regardless. Believe it or not, his learning that you will always be there for him is a monumental lesson. I have learned first hand from my own upbringing, and from what I experienced raising my own children. My children were more secure that the “socialized” children of working moms who depended on day-cares. Believe me! Read this book…Home by Choice by Brenda Hunter. It will resolve your momflict. If motherhood wasn’t difficult, you would not be conflicted. Staying at home to raise your child is the HARD thing to do, NOT the easy thing. That’s why most women go back to work. They say they can’t afford to stay home, but that is not a good reason for most people. People don’t want to give up the stuff. Plain and simple. So, in defense of that mindset, society tries to make the stay at home moms look bored and lazy to make themselves feel better. I know, dear fellow mother, because I have been in your shoes. My children are now 17 and 20. I would not change a thing. My clothes are old, my hair cuts are from “Perfect Look,” I don’t get manicures, pedicures, etc. But, these have been the best years of my life. I will soon be an empty nester, and it kills me. This is your chance to do what is right. You can never get these years back. You don’t want to have regrets later. If your husband supports you in this, then thank the good Lord for that gift you have of staying home.
Sorry here, I get very passionate with this subject. What you are doing is SOOOOO important. Don’t demean yourself. To answer your question: read a book. Start with the book I mentioned above. Then open your bible. (Best self-help/parenting book on the planet!) Give yourself that time to renew your mind and energy. Naps only last for two to three years. That sounds like a long time to you now, but it will go by in a flash. Use that time to keep yourself at your best. If you start to think you are bored-STOP! Recognize that as a lie. Tell yourself that this is only temporary. Use it, enjoy it, be grateful for it. : D There will come a time when you will wish for time to be bored. : D Hang in there!
Blessings,
Mama T.
p.s.-I agree with Melody-support groups are a must.
Beautiful responses to this post! I am learning that when I start to feel “bored” and start wondering what to do next, that I need to take that time to recharge my batteries, spend time in the Word, take time planning and thinking ahead for my family, because often God is giving me grace for something big that is going to happen soon thereafter….another pregnancy, a house fire, another busy season in life.